Wild Cat Rodeo

   We learned a lot that day – mostly what not to do. After taking a feral mamma cat and her four, nearly-grown kittens to get “fixed,” we followed the vet’s instructions and tucked them into a warm, dry place to recover. Our bathroom. Mistake #1

   Their cages were too small for litter boxes, so we decided to let them out of their individual cages. Mistake #2.

   At first, it was peaceful. Surprisingly peaceful. Until one cat spooked which triggered the others like a furry chain reaction. Suddenly the room turned into a feline demolition derby. Cats ricocheted off walls, swung from the mirror like little acrobats, and treated the light fixtures like a jungle gym. The fixtures slid sideways but hung on. My husband, Ron, in a moment of heroic optimism, tried to release the last cat while shouting for me to get out. I did—faster than the average 70‑plus‑year‑old arthritic woman has ever moved without divine intervention. Behind the door, a loud ruckus of cats bouncing off walls and Ron’s startled yelp, set my heart rocketing. “Get outta’ there!” I yelled in a panic. Ron escaped with a few scratches. One wild cat had used Ron’s back as a springboard for higher ground. That day, we decided not to step foot in there again. Good idea #1.

    The next morning, after inserting my hearing aids, I heard a mysterious beep-beep-beep. It led me to the water heater. Why would a water heater beep? I had no idea, so I did what any modern woman does—I Googled it. Meanwhile, Ron prepared to release the cats from our home in a safe, logical way. Mistake #3. There is no safe, logical way.

   Ron opened the bathroom door and discovered the hot water running full blast in the sink—but no cats. He lifted the cardboard box we’d placed in the shower as their temporary bed, and there they were: all five cats stacked like a furry layered cake, holding perfectly still as if invisibility could be achieved through sheer willpower. Kitties’ mistake #1.

   Apparently, one of them had used the faucet as a launchpad to the window sill, turning the faucet on in the process. Mistake #4: forgetting to turn off the water valve under the sink. Cute kitty nearly drained our well.

   We don’t know if the wild bunch jumped out the window or ran out the door. All except the last one. “Bonnie Lass” walked, turning to Ron every few steps, and comically grumbled the whole way out of the door. It was as if she wanted Ron to know just how irate she was about what he had done to her.

    Compared to this fiasco, catching them in the live traps was the easy part. The wild, untrusting mamma couldn’t resist a hot dog, not even in a cage. 

We’ve decided we’re officially too old for wild cat rodeos. Good idea #2.

  We wouldn’t have succeeded without help from TOAR Team Okanogan Animal Rescue. Thank you, TOAR, for the care and compassion you show our furry friends. A quote from TOAR’s FaceBook post: “If transportation of animals to our free Big Fix event in May is an issue, we MIGHT be able to assist. Please email teamokanogan@gmail.com explaining your needs, location, animals, and contact info. We will do our best to help in any way we can. … Spay/neuter saves lives! Thank you for working together to curb overpopulation!” Quote from TOAR